I have a love-hate relationship with New Year’s resolutions. I love them when I successfully fulfill them of course, but when I don’t – well, that’s when I hate ’em. A couple of years ago, I made a resolution about improving certain relationships in my life and deciding how I could contribute to that with my own actions and efforts. Thankfully, that worked out really well. So, I’ve decided to go that route again this year, only with a different (and very important) person in my life – my son. Being a parent is tough, trying each day to be a good one is even tougher. I’ve come up with a list of 3 goals for my parenting in 2015 that I believe will help me stay on track, and benefit my son as well.
1. Focus on nothing but my child for a full 30 minutes each day.
I know 30 minutes may not sound like a lot – especially to my stay-at-home parent friends, but as a person who is constantly going, going, going and trying to fulfill everyone’s needs (my employers, my husband, my extended family, my friends, my son’s school through volunteering to chair activities) I feel I do not spend enough focused time with my son each day that is NOT distracted by anything else (*cough*cough* my phone, tv, his tablet) and is geared toward solely things he is interested in. Yes, I spend quality time with him, but I want to do what he wants to do for at least a little while each day. I want him to know I care about his interests and want to learn about the things that are important to him. So, if this means I brush up on my Minecraft skills or play a seemingly nonsensical game of two person baseball a few times each week – so be it.
2. Remember that he gets to have a bad day sometimes, too.
I’m not the most patient person, and I have a tendency to want to control things – especially how my day goes and those two traits sometimes don’t mesh well with parenting. I hate running late, I get embarrassed when my son doesn’t use manners and I have fairly high expectations. 95% of the time, he meets my expectations or even exceeds them. But, on those 5% days, I want to be sure I am taking a mental step back, assessing what’s happening in the grand scheme of the world and shaking off the small stuff. My kid is just that – a kid! And while high expectations can be great, perfectionism isn’t and expecting him to never have a bad day (when I have plenty myself) is unrealistic and unfair to him. So on those 5% days, I’ll spend more time asking him, “What’s bugging you today?” “How can we both get out of the door on time this morning?” and less time nagging him to hurry up or barking frustrated requests. {If you’ve found yourself struggling in this area before – I highly recommend this article for more perspective on this issue – majorly eye opening and very helpful!}
3. Establish a household chore routine that involves my son pitching in.
I keep a pretty clean house (most of the time) and after nearly 13 years of marriage, the hubs and I have gotten into a good routine of splitting up the household chores. The one thing I’ve failed at miserably however, is teaching my son the importance of pitching in around the house. I make excuses like, “he’s young, he has plenty of time to learn this stuff” or “it’s faster for me to do it” or even “what if he hurts himself?” (unloading the dishwasher where there are knives) but really, those are my problems more than his. Currently, he feeds the dogs and cleans up after himself, but I want my son to grow up knowing the effort it takes to take care of a home and the importance of working as a family to do so. That means I need to start soon (he’s nearly 8, so I realize I’m already behind the curve here), recognize he is capable of learning, take the time to teach him how to accomplish household chores and remember that him contributing is more important than perfection.
These three areas are those I feel are weak in my parenting and I’m really looking forward to seeing what 2015 has in store for my family as I put my parenting resolutions into practice. Each of us parents face our own challenges and obstacles to overcome. I’d love to hear what other parents are hoping to accomplish with their children in the coming year as well, please feel free to comment here or on our Facebook page!
Best wishes for a wonderous, healthy and joyful 2015!
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Thanks for sharing this! So often we try to make New Years resolution with only ourselves. And so often, we don’t look to make resolutions as a parent with our children. Good tips! Happy New Years!
We did Dave Ramseys Financial Peace for kids with Sophie (8) and use a commission chart instead of allowance. It works really well and balances the whole jobs you do because you’re part of the family and jobs you can earn $$ for. It works especially well when we actually remember to pay her!! Great post!