Everyone loves to pepper moms-to-be with advice. Most of it is well-meaning and comes from a place of wanting to spare new moms the frustration of learning things the hard way if possible, however often there are just a few pieces of advice that truly stick and end up being adopted as part of a mom’s permanent mommy-mantra. I wanted to reach out to a handful of moms I love and respect to ask what the one piece of advice is that they feel helped the most or that they’d most want to share with a mom-to-be. I loved reading their responses, and hope you will too.
{Please be sure to scroll down to see the winners of the FresYes Mother’s Day Giveaway!}
In honor of Mother’s Day this Sunday, the best mothering advice received (as shared by some amazing moms):
Trust yourself and what you feel is right for you and your baby. It’s a crazy/ messy/ imperfect life full of love that you have never felt before you had the baby.
Go with the flow, and just enjoy it all because they grow up so quickly! It’s so true…
Choose. your. battles.
You do not ever want to be a “credit card” parent. Let me explain. If you let your child get away with a behavior/attitude, etc that you don’t want to deal with now, sooner or later, you or someone else will have to pay the bill with interest. That wrong behavior or attitude will cost you, your child or someone in their lives later a price. So don’t let them take that wrong behavior/attitude into their adult lives if it can easily be corrected in their childhood.
Your marriage comes first. My mom instilled that in me when my son was born. When he was 2 weeks old, my husband turned 30. My mom sent us out to dinner and gave our son his first bottle. We always knew that my parents were a team, and now we needed to be a team to raise a family. Kids know if you are having difficulties as a couple, no matter how good you think you are hiding it.
Pray for your kids. During good times, trials, and for their futures. Especially in choosing their spouses. When they’re small it’s hard to think about that, but important.
Remember to take care of yourself first… the whole happy mom, happy baby thing. I definitely didn’t do that with my first son and it took a huge toll on me mentally and physically. And sadly, the mommy world is so judgmental that so many moms feel like they have to be perfect.
It might not be the fanciest advice but having someone tell me that my kid will not die if he doesn’t eat dinner or lunch and to not force them to eat was so helpful. I stressed with my oldest and it was a battle trying to get him to eat meals — I would waste so much emotional energy. With my second son, he eats what he wants to and learned that if he doesn’t eat, he doesn’t get a big dessert and that’s about it. No stress and he is still alive and healthy.
YOU are the best mom your child can have. Believe in yourself.
Never stop having fun with your children. Play WITH them. Don’t simply taking them to the park so they can get some energy out, but actually make time to get active with them. They do not care if you’re overweight and can’t run very far, or whether you have a million other time-sensitive things to do. They just want some time with their mommy.
Teach and train your sons to be good husbands — one that you would choose. So that their wives will be grateful to you and instead of losing a son you will gain daughters.
Sleep when the kid is sleeping and the old cliché about them growing up to fast… the dishes can wait, the house won’t fall down but you only have limited chances to sneak those extra snuggles, watch their special activities and talk about their day at school at dinner time, so I try to keep this in mind when taking in the small moments with the kiddos.
Set your children up for success. Be clear in your expectations and express what they are. Create natural consequences for problem behaviors, but discipline with love – do not expect perfection, have you ever had a bad day? Your kids should be allowed one sometimes too.
They come into your life, you don’t come into theirs. Meaning take care of the marriage or relationships you have, don’t give up on things you enjoy. They will eventually move out and you will be left without them. How can you teach them to be decent adults with quality relationships if you don’t show them?
Being a mom is a full time job, but remember you must take care of yourself, if you don’t take care of yourself you can’t adequately care for them or anyone else. It’s not selfish to need down time… it’s a necessity.
Start as you wish to go on. If you don’t want your child to sleep in your bed, don’t let them sleep in there. If you don’t want your children to whine for things at the store, don’t give in “just this once” because you’re teaching them it works. Don’t do the quick and easy thing “just once” because you’re starting a habit you didn’t want – and that’s far harder to break than saying no (or yes) in the first place!
If your child comes home from school and has a complaint about a teacher or coach, it is best to listen, but not take sides until you know the whole story. Also, bad mouthing a teacher or coach to your child can translate into the message that your child doesn’t have to listen to those teachers or coaches. We often teach our children to disrespect those in authority without even knowing it.
We’re not going to mess up our kids from a few screw ups or dropping the ball a time or two. What’s going to make them good people is the overall feeling of being accepted and loved by us, their parents, regardless of the “oh sh*t” moments which we can’t avoid.
Always let your kids know how much you love them — always let them know that on good days or bad days they are loved.
I truly love and believe in myself so I wanted to make certain my kids felt the same way about themselves and everything I did/am doing as a mom supports that.
And finally…
Don’t listen to all the advice you were given! You may not believe it at first, but most things you will figure out on your own what works for you and yours. 😉
Thank you to all of the wonderful moms who contributed and allowed me to write this piece. I hope that it may help some new moms find sanity as they adjust to the craziness that is parenting. Happy Mother’s Day to all of the wonderful moms and those who have stepped in as moms. Your job is the best/hardest/best job in the world! (As my mom told me.)
And now, to announce the winners of our FresYes Mother’s Day Giveaway!
In second place, with 382 votes, is Kelly Perez!
Congratulations Kelly you win a delicious, gourmet meal from Hye Girl Snacks, Meals and Sweets! Your meal will serve your family and be delivered right to your door, and you can choose the week that works best for you. Enjoy!
And in first place, receiving our grand prize of a new haircut, color, deep conditioning treatment and style from Bailey Donnelly at J. Salon AND beautiful, updated family portraits taken by J. Master Photography, with 561 votes is …
Kimberly Gragston!
Congratulations!!!
It has been an honor recognizing the 11 moms that made up our list of finalists. You ladies set stunning examples and we hope you ALL have amazing Mother’s Days!
{Winners – please email fresyesnat (at) gmail (dot) com to claim your prizes and get instructions, thank you!}
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