If the summer heat is getting to you or you’re starting to get the end of summer, back-to-school morning routine blues – you just need a good laugh. I was having a conversation with a friend recently about the many times our children have unintentionally embarrassed us in public and how in the moment, we were mortified, but looking back – it makes a pretty funny story, and I thought, what a great idea for a post. Let’s laugh away the pain of embarrassment together – chances are someone else’s kid embarrassed them even more than your kid embarrassed you. And besides, parental misery loves company, right?
Thanks to the beauty of crowd sourcing, I have for you – some of your best tales of parental embarrassment, which naturally fell into three distinct categories…
Potty Training is Tough Stuff
My wife, kids and I were shopping at Kohl’s on a busy day. At that time we had a 5 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. My 5 year old tells me she needed to go potty. So I tell my wife, “I’ll be back. I’m taking her to the restroom.” As I walk away, the younger one comes running and asks “Where are you going?” The older girl raises her voice and say “Go back to mommy because daddy is taking me to go POOP!” I look up and there was a small crowd looking at me and my kids as I turn bright red. I rushed to the restroom with the older one as quickly as possible. My wife and I later laughed about in the car ride home.
I’ve been potty training my daughter which means she goes to the bathroom with me constantly including in public places. We always go in the same stall. Usually her first, then me. We were on a road trip and I was on my period. This was the first time I’d gone to the bathroom with her during that time of the month. After she went, I tried to make her turn around so she wouldn’t see anything but she looked and asked loudly if I was changing my diaper. It was fantastic.
We were in the potty training phase with my son, and I had to use the restroom at Target. I took my son into the stall with me, as I had no other option and unfortunately I had to go #2, which I tried to avoid in public restrooms whenever possible. After I took a moment, my son loudly asked, “Are you going poopy Mommy?” and a moment later, he declared, “You ARE going poopy Mommy! Good job! You a good girl! I give you an M&M when we go home!” I debated living in that stall until the store closed to avoid the glares outside.
When I was potty training my daughter, nothing was working. I begged, I bribed, I pleaded, she was NOT going to go to the bathroom on the toilet for anything. Finally we were getting ready to go on vacation to Disneyland and I told her that if she wanted a toy at Disneyland she HAD to stop wearing diapers because I needed that diaper money to buy her toys. Just like that she decided to potty train and we were done with diapers day and night! I was thrilled! Fast forward a month, we are at Disneyland and we are standing in the gift shop. My daughter picks out a princess book that plays music. I give her the money so she can pay for it herself. She gives the book and the money to the cashier and says, “My mommy can’t afford to buy me diapers anymore because I’m buying THIS book!” I about died! The cashier looked at me like I was the worst mother ever! I grabbed the bag and we left as quickly as possible.
Flatulence is Funny
We were all out enjoying dinner at a restaurant with friends when my 4-year-old son asked me loudly if I had farted. It hadn’t, by the way.
I used to love the Fiber One bars, they had one that tasted just like Caramel Delite Girl Scout cookies, but they were fiber bars so they gave me ridiculous gas (can’t believe I’m sharing this!) I was grocery shopping with both of my boys on a Saturday morning so it was super busy. I grabbed a box of the fiber bars and tossed them in the cart and my younger son, who was about 4, yelled at the top of his lungs, in a crowded aisle, “Oh no ! Mom’s buying her fart bars again!” I wanted to cry!
Cultural and Physical Differences are Tough For Kids to Navigate
At kindergarten orientation we were standing next to a mom and son. I smiled at the mom and she smiled back and pointed to her son and said, with a heavy Spanish accent, “This is Tomas.” My darling child looks at her and does a bow-to-your-sensei type move and loudly yells, “I’m Chase!” in a pretty good imitation of her accent… I just grabbed his hand and walked away.
We were at my older son’s Christmas concert and an elderly gentleman sat next to my younger son. He has no “inside voice” and leaned over to me and complained, “Mom, look who just sat next to me. You know I hate old people!” I just prayed the man was hard of hearing.
My son was 3 years old and my daughter was about 3 weeks old. I needed to get some things from Target, so it was my first trip out as a mom with 2 kids. I had my son in the shopping cart sitting in the front child seat, and my daughter in her car seat inside the cart. I pass by another mom with a baby in the car seat, too. My son turns to the woman and baby and says, “awww mom look, she has a cute little baby too!” (And I smile and acknowledge his comment) Then he turns to his little sister who is in the cart below him and says “but not as cute as our little baby! No no no, yes you’re so cuuute!” And he’s rubbing on his little sister’s cheek with his finger as he said this. I’m sure my face looked completely shocked and red. The other mom was a great sport though, and we had a great laugh about it. Kids say the darnedest things! (I remind him of how cute he thought his sister was when they fight, to this day!)
While I don’t have kids I do have a brother who has NO filter in public. Just the other day he told my boyfriend that he loves it when I get new boyfriends. (My boyfriend and I have been together for a year). Once at the movie theater a very large man walked up to purchase tickets and my brother loudly announced, “Wow that man must be really FULL!” The topper however, was when we were at the vet and the vet came into the room wearing a turban. My brother had never seen anyone wear a turban before and audibly gasped when the vet walked in the room. When the vet left the room for a moment we told my brother, “it’s just a hat.” So the vet comes back in and my brother gasps out loud again and quickly reminds himself ALOUD “Don’t worry it’s just a hat!”
We were shopping at a grocery store that was frequented by many elderly shoppers when my 3-year-old daughter loudly stated, “There are too many old people here – they need to iron their faces!”
Thank you to everyone who contributed their awesome stories! 🙂
Have a story you would like to share? It’s ok, we’re Family here…